I’m ruined are you? Ruined for Jesus, that is. My life is centered around living ruined. I was introduced to this idea at a workshop lead by author Rick Lawerence. To be ruined for Jesus means we spend time chasing after Him and the desires He has for us. It means choosing to sacrifice money and living with more time for relationships than “stuff”. It means pursuing His goals, giving up careers when He calls. It means leaving family and friends when He says this way.
To live like this looks crazy, seems crazy, but I can’t do anything else. Jesus has sought me and won me, so nothing else tastes as sweet. I know I’m not alone, I know the disciples were ruined and I’m certain their friends found them a little nuts!
Everyone’s ruined looks different lived out. I think of a boy from Africa I heard about. When he decided to live for Jesus he packed a bag and left his life, village, family everything because he was no longer accepted. I know I’m so blessed to live in the bible belt and to live out loud for Jesus looks less crazy than in some places of the world.
Yet I still am thought to be “out there” I’m sure. I left a business in hopes of serving in vocal ministry. When the door to ministry slammed closed I was confused to say the least. Then in my Jesus focused line of vision I caught a glimpse of wait – I’m not finished – wait I have something better for you. I’m still waiting as glimpses are still being revealed but the Lord is so good I know He is higher, He is planning the perfect path for me.
Part of living ruined for Jesus is listening to His voice. Not ours or of the enemy, but His, the one of Truth. I find this the hardest part even as I type this the voice of ugly is
whispering, talking loudly, screaming, yeah that’s the word. Screaming all the ugly I’ve done, created, the messes I’ve been apart of. How could I be successful in any type of vocal ministry?
This voice tells me people already have certain opinions of me, based on speculation, although I know and my close circle know the truth, it doesn’t speak as loud as the speculation. This voice shows me other women who are far more qualified to teach and share the gospel. Lets me know that I have no degree to back up my calling. I don’t say any of this so you feels sorry for me or offer me words of praise. I say all of this to point it back to Jesus. I have always been a people pleaser, it’s part of who I am. I believe the Lord is using this as a thorn in my side.
Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:7-8 talks about being given a thorn to prevent him from becoming proud. He asked the Lord to remove it on multiple occasions. But the Lord’s response comes in verse 8.
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
This is my thorn in this season of life. I trust Him, so I will continue placing one foot in front of the next because it’s not my strength, it is His. Because I promise even with all my strength, on the best hair day with my power outfit on do I have enough strength to live Jesus out loud. My strength finds frustration with my children, grumps with my spouse, no time to spend with the Lord. My strength only leads to hot messes! His strength looks like following Him when chaos reins, kindness in response to children driving me to the brink, smiles at the husband who likes to pick on me in fun. His strength looks like finding time to spend with Him in the everyday.
Be sure to check out Rebecca at Mary and Martha’s House as this weeks featured blogger. She shared the importance of making the most out of each of our days in honor of her cousins passing.