Hello sweet readers! I wanted to let you know I will be missing the next two weeks. I will serving as part of the leadership team for the Engage Youth Conference the first of next week , I’m so very excited for the opportunity to serve in furthering the reach of Jesus. Then Wednesday I head out to She Speaks, to go be filled to the brim with teachings to hone my dream and calling of writing and speaking in the name of Jesus. Wowzers, I’m so very excited to see all that the Lord has in store. The friendship that He has already started to produce with the other attendees are so amazing! Following that I will be totally off the grid, well as much as I can be, while camping with my lovely little family!
Yes, you read that right, camping for a week. This girly girl is getting in touch with her nature side!! At least this time camping involves a motor-home!
This week I wanted to share with you, and myself, part of a message that the Lord laid on my heart to speak to a group of ladies a couple of months ago. I have a tendency to feel invisible and unneeded. I’m pretty honest about that when you know me, I know that it is a way for the enemy to attack me, I hate that I continue to have doubts about my value.
I have so much faith in the Lord’s plan for your life and my own, yet in the dark of life, doubt is my weakness.
For me, my feelings of being invisible stem from childhood. I grew up made to be very quiet, I was painfully shy-not many who know me now would guess that! I was told by my grandpa that I was ignorant and worthless on a daily basis. My mom and I lived with my grandma and grandpa because my real father broke off the engagement with my mom when she became pregnant. From the womb I wasn’t wanted by him. Once in elementary and middle school I wanted to blend in, so I just stayed really quiet in hopes of no one there pointing out or noticing my worthlessness.
I had friendships but they “broke up” with me. Boys didn’t look twice at me. Until one day a boy noticed me. I learned very quick what he wanted and what I should do to keep him, but it didn’t last. I was introduced to Jesus around the time boys entered my radar. My first introduction sadly, was not one of friend, healer, and seeker of my heart. It was one who set strict rules and really wasn’t a relational God. It was as if I really I could never live up to the standard, it felt that even grace wasn’t enough. So I felt that was just one more area of life that I couldn’t measure up in.
But Jesus kept pursuing my heart, kept wooing me.
Showing me that yes, I couldn’t measure up on my own but through HIS grace I could. Through his love, I was no longer invisible. Through the Lords plans, I was introduced to a boy that would spend 17 years so far showing me my beauty and that I’m not invisible. When I have days feeling like I am not enough, that I can never be worthy of love, those days I look into my daughters eyes. I see her beauty, her worth, I then realize my heavenly Father sees that in me and so much more.
What life gave me in rejection, feelings of being unloved, not enough, not captivating, not worthy, that I had no value or anything to offer. God determined to bring good out of that. He determined to wipe out each of those labels and replace them.
The world says worthless. He says you are the daughter of the King.
The world says unloved. He says you are so loved my son died just for you.
The world says not captivating. He says I am so captivated by your beauty I know each hair on your head, each day you will live out on this earth.
The world says not enough. He says I have plans that only you were created to accomplish, You are my masterpiece.
The world says invisible. He says I see you I know you I love you beyond anything you can imagine.
So girls, this week I don’t know if this message is for you or me. I do know that we both probably need it. I need it because I’m walking into a time of holy ground, full of faith in the Lords plan. The enemy doesn’t like that so he will send plenty of doubts and attacks my way. You may need it because you are knee deep in dirty diapers and you haven’t showered in two and a half days and haven’t talked to someone over the age of 5 in a week. You feel beyond unnoticed, you feel lost to who you are and who you want to be. Well, dear sister you aren’t not invisible to me or our sweet and loving Lord.
Maybe you are sitting behind your computer feeling that you are in a season without friends or someone who “gets” you. Well lovely lady, the Lord of the universe “gets” you and longs for you. He knows the doubts and insecurities of your heart when no one else does. He longs to hear them and walk with you through them.
I pray this week and until I write to you again that you will only hear the voice of the Lord, speaking words of love and encouragement over you.
This week amazing ladies to be featured are Jenessa of Mothering in Real Life. Her post written about the her trip to the grocery store and being impacted by the mom who seemed to have it all together ahead of her in line. I so related to this post because I’m usually the mom feeling like a hot mess, this is wonderful reminder that you never know who is watching and who will be impacted.
I’m also featuring Cynthia of My Rose Colored Shades her post on giving the Lord of our first fruits was convicting to my spirit. Her reminders of time with God first, eliminates the chance of Him getting our leftovers or nothing at all.
My last feature really struck home because it is where I find myself. Unsure of being completely authentic because there is fear of what people may think, yet realizing that it’s ALL about HIM and His glory. You really must take a moment to read Caroline of In Due Time’s post.