Hi Girls! I wanted to say thank you to all those who entered my birthday contest and sent me birthday love (I’m going to tell myself that you sent love because you love me not because I bribed you!) Sarah was the lucky winner and I emailed her a bit ago. Sarah be sure to check your email, I want you to be blessed with your copy of God Is Able!
This week, amidst the birthday celebration here, I found myself along with my community wrestling through a really tough week. We as a community found ourselves rocked to our very core. I landed in a spot of really questioning God, I don’t think I was alone in that spot. I questioned the very existence of a God I love so much. Questioning His way for man. Questioning His purpose of earth, if he wanted to create beings why not just create us into heaven.
Why is there pain?
Why do some live with nothing, some eek by and some have more than they know what to do with?
Why do some suffer their entire time on earth?
It all can seem like a cruel joke.
The reason for these questions, these moments of crying out to the Lord angry sobbing tears, is that last weekend tragedy struck our small town. A young girl who bravely fought cancer since preschool age passed away, after fighting most of her life, the battle ended. The same weekend a high school girl was involved in a car accident leaving her and another woman with significant head trauma and a young mother delivering a baby who would never breath a breath of oxygen.
These events called me to question God as I sat on the floor of my war room hurting, not understanding and flat out mad at the unfairness this world offers. In that moment with tears streaming down my face, washing more make up off with each rivulet, I knew to open to Isaiah 41 and to read to the end of the chapter. That one chapter gave me a peace for every question, every angry fist shake.
It caught my attention right away in verse one when it opens with “Listen in silence before me….Bring your strongest arguments. Come now and speak.” I had given my arguments and knew it was time for silence. As I read on, verse 4 says “Who has done such mighty deeds, summoning each new generation from the beginning of time? It is I, the Lord, the First and the Last. I alone am he.” This answers one of my whys. That He alone knows the plan. He knew the plan before the beginning and already knows the end of the plan.
Is it wise for an ant to judge the tree growing taller because it blocks the sun from its hill? No, there is purpose to the tree growing up taller. The fruit that will fall and feed the ant is just one aspect of the purpose for the tree growing there. Had the ant had its way, it would have missed out on the longer term blessings because it could only see the very tiny piece of the picture. This is true for us in the position of the ant. It would be unwise for us to judge the bigger picture only because we have yet to eat from the fruit.
This is where faith steps in, my best friend and I decided while we sipped coffee pondering my whys. Faith that there is a plan bigger than ourselves and one event. Trust has to reign, trust in His provision that he doesn’t intend disaster but a hope filled future. Laying claim that he works all things for the good of those who love Him as Romans 8:28 tells us.
The question still arises from my heart, because His word says have faith that can move mountains and they will move (Matthew 17:20) pray and seek me with your whole self and I will answer (Jeremiah 29:13) why not bring healing? With prayers going out for healing, why not heal a broken body? Why do two parents have to say good-bye? Why does a sister have to grow old without her confidant?
The answer is the simplest yet the hardest to understand. An answer that I already knew but needed reminded of. We don’t get to and don’t need to understand. God’s plan is His alone and it isn’t our place to dictate the plan.
Our place is surrender anger and bitterness over to Him.
To pick up obedience of continued prayer and trust.
To seek joy from Him and the glory that is Him.
To worship Him when our heart is broken and bleeding from grief.
That is our position in the plan.
This week feature is Micah with her post When You Question Your Calling you’re going to want to be sure to read this! It will encourage your heart to keep walking into where the Lord is leading you.