Why I Chose to be Pro-Choice

Yep girls, the pure truth is, I am pro-choice. Yes, you did read that right. I believe with all my being you have an absolute choice of what to do with YOUR life. Your choice is to risk the protection of your heart by having sex outside of marriage. Your choice is to make smart choices to prevent pregnancy.  The reality is you need to chose wisely before another human beings life is impacted by YOUR poor judgement.


We have bought into the lie that the choice plays into our decisions after we’ve had our fun. That is the lie girls. We have listened to the lie that no man (politician fits here as well) can make our choice for us, about our health.


GIRLS, WAKE UP! We have already turned over the choice of our health when we trade our precious hearts for the idea of love, we give our innocence over for the possibility of our hearts being treated and loved with a commitment before a commitment is made.We have uncertainty in our hearts about being loved and we fall for the age old lie of, if I give the most precious thing I have he won’t ever leave, disappoint me or stop loving me, all I have to do is hand that over. When that lie crumbles at our feet and we are left with the consequences it certainly seems easy to call those consequences, women’s health. Why don’t we recognize the best women’s health prescription is to love yourself, respect yourself, and guard your heart from the world’s views of relationships.


The best women's health prescription is to love yourself, respect yourself and guard your heart from the world's view of relationships.

This is not by any intention to make men sound as if they want to take advantage of a situation, this is all about the human condition, we are created with a longing that can only be filled with the need of God. When we begin to look to another human being to fill that, we are moving our hearts into a situation of disappointment. We must look to the one who can fill us to overflowing.


We have to stop treating sex like it’s about what we want or what we might get out of it, we need to remind ourselves what sex really is. It is a commitment of real love, an agreement of “for better or worst.”


We must stop shouting our selfish lies of women’s health, “it’s my body, non-committed relationships is just how life works now”. We need to wake up and trade that in for reality. Yes, it is your body and you do have a choice of what you do with it, who you give it to. Stop exchanging your bad behavior in on someone else’s life.

 Stop exchanging your bad behavior in on someone else's life.

I write all of this with grace and love poured over it. I come to you as a women who did have sex before marriage. I can’t imagine the difference of my life if I would’ve had a baby before marriage. I come to you as a daughter born out of a broken engagement, who very easily could have been lost to the easy choice of women’s health. I have known all my life that my biological father wanted nothing to do with my life, but recently learned that my maternal grandfather wanted to have me aborted. There are few times my mom stood up to the strong force that was my Pap, but on this she did and I was born. I had a grandpa who spent the rest of his time on earth trying to make up for harboring that near action, I believe.


When this reality was revealed to me, my mind was spinning. It was during a conversation about my name I had recently with my mom. Lets just say, my outlook of the impact that our easy choices of remedy changed(not that I believed in abortion before) but now, it somehow seemed so much more personal.


The solution of abortion that is being accepted as the easiest, impacts not just one life, but life after life. My husband would not have me as a wife, my Brandon and Rachel would not be here on earth. My impact for the kingdom would not be felt. That is the reality.


Why I Chose to be Pro-Choice | Me, Coffee & Jesus

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This week features 3 great blog posts. The first is from Debbie titled The Journey Through Change it is about her journey through change and her 5 top ways to make it just a bit easier.

Karen shared in her post Setting Sun about how our wondrous God answers bold prayers and how they are His answers, not ours.

Jennifer shared her A Letter To My Boys On The First Day of School and if you have children that just headed back to school you need this post!

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Legacy of Love and Respect

So a few weeks ago I started watching Parenthood on Netflix, it was around the time my Facebook friends were crying over the series finale I thought if this many people are loving it and are so sad over the ending it must be a good show…well it is! I will not embarrass myself by saying how far I am into the series in only a few short weeks, but lets just say I’m moving right along! A few many episodes back I’m watching Crosby and Jasmine have a mega fight and end their engagement all over how to load the dishwasher. Of course it’s not all about how the dishwasher is being loaded but circles back to her lack of respect for Crosby. For being controlling and expecting him to change and be a different man. (Yes I realize this isn’t real life but bare with me!) It made me think about so many early relationships and marriages I watch from the outside looking in and see the lack of respect that women give to their man. I do NOT have a perfect marriage but one thing I know and live out the best I can is to respect Jesse. God’s word doesn’t tell me to love him, it says to respect him and he is to love me. This is a circle that feeds itself. Men long to be respected and women need to be loved.

This brings me to a relationship that I have so much respect for, a real life relationship that I have had the privilege to witness it lived out and learn from. A relationship that was paused on this earth at least, two weeks ago. It is my grandma and grandpa’s relationship nearly 63 years in the making. My Grandpa said goodbye on this earth and hello to Jesus. This marriage was formed in the war era and blossomed after only a short time of knowing each other. They experienced 5 children, a military career, losing a child, and so much more. But my main memory that I will carry with me and try to live to that example is of the love and respect. He lived out love to his partner, children and grandchildren everyday, even when it wasn’t deserved.

I handle death differently then those that know me might expect for me to, I’m one who processes most things out loud and tends to over share everything. But death is different, I become very reflective and turn with in myself to process. These past couple of weeks I’ve thought so much of the example of marriage, how a man loves a woman-and how Grandma turned that love into respect back to him. I’ve thought on what makes my own marriage work and on my relationship with my children.

After 15 years of marriage I know the importance of these things, most days and live them out, most days. The death of Grandpa and the getting to be apart of the legacy of love has made me re-evaluate the intentionality of my approach to my own relationships.

So the above was written a week ago as we were ready to walk out the door for a marriage retreat. Seriously I started writing while Jesse was in the shower, I was dressed, make up on and ready to hit the road! I didn’t know what to expect at this retreat that is hosted by a local church. We’ve had several friends attend in the past and tell us how great it is and that we should go. This year thanks to the generosity of my in-laws we were able to attend.

What was ironic was the weekend in part could be summed up in my above post. Love your wife, respect your husband. It expounded on what not to do and what to do, of course. I loved to hear that we are on the right path that we are doing this thing called marriage well and as it was intended.

Towards the end of the weekend we were asked to put done our “complaints” of our marriage/partner in order of 10-100 (by 10’s) so the 10 would be something minor and a 100 would be a huge thing. After 5 minutes we looked at each other with mostly a blank page, each of us had a 70 listed but it wasn’t about the other it was something that we wanted to work on together. I said teaching our children about the word more intentionally and he said doing our budget together again. Neither of these things have we fought about or do we intend to fight over them it’s areas to improve together with love and respect.

So ladies respect your husband,  the bible is sound-it works, respect him at all times but by golly respect in public and to your friends. Never talk down about him to his face or behind his back because the words you speak is the attitude that you live out. Build him up even when you don’t think he deserves because he is called to love you even when you don’t deserve to be loved. Men love your wives don’t expect intimacy without loving her emotionally women want to see you invested in them do that little thing you know makes her feel loved, a long hug, reading a book to the kids, letting her shower in peace the intimacy will be soon to follow.

Love and Respect that is the foundation of a marriage, let it be your legacy to your children and grandchildren like it was for me.